Letting it go...

My thought is... before the understanding that I was in great living pain, was the knowledge that all my life's plans were calculated and organised. There was no way I want any surprises every day proved to be the always the same. Life frustrated me and I did it to myself. But no matter how hard I tried, the more my life spun around me, as if I was caught in an electrical spiders web spinning me into a cocoon left to daggle on the edge of this corner I was within.

A surprise was good if I was in awareness of the conception and how this was going to be implimented. I became very clever and tricky with myself. Then oneday I could not control all my facets surrounding my life. I had done well until then. My soul screamed, enough stop this maddness you need peace, you need to let go.....I thought but then who now do I trust ? Fate...the wind....my breath....my soul whispered, "Yes" all.